Two Lines

One year ago today I woke up earlier than usual, tip toed into the bathroom, carefully closed the door so that I wouldn't wake Brad up and randomly decided to tinkle on a stick. As with all the other tests I'd taken over the past 5 years my heart started beating quickly and I began telling myself that its okay if its not positive...this time I meant it. We were already parents and Kadynce had totally rocked our world and our hearts! But for some reason I felt compelled to take the test. I just happened to glance down and even before the 2 minutes was up I was a little confused...there was 1 solid bold line and a SECOND faint line. I've taken quite a few tests, more than I care to remember to be honest but this I had never seen...I grabbed the box and 2 lines meant it was positive! I called Brad, who is still sleeping, he jumped up and stumbles into the bathroom very confused (probably because this time I wasn't in the floor, tub, etc passed out - this used to happen all the time, usually do to dehydration, not fun!). I handed him the test and said, "LOOK!" (by the way he had no idea I was taking one) he looked at the box then back and forth at the test just like I did and replied, "are you sure?!" And I said, "Yeah, I think, are you mad?" since I'd never had this result before I figured I was sure...this wasn't at all the way I had always imagined telling him but it worked.

Having no clue on what to do next we conference called our moms, then not so patiently waited for Carolina Conceptions to open (I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Park), they took a blood test, later that day, again not so patiently waiting the doctor called to congratulate us and told us we were VERY pregnant. The next day an ultrasound confirmed there was indeed a little 8 week "Butterbean" growing in there...even now when I stare at my 4 month old baby boy sometimes it totally feels like a dream. And then his amazing big sister comes dancing and singing into the room and I can't help but think, wow, God is good.
 
I will get the journey to this point all typed out someday...

A name...or two

After going back and forth trying to figure out and pick the right name for my attempt at a blog I've decided that it will from here on out be "Sugar Beans and Boogers." I named it, changed it and have now changed it back...for good. I like it and that's what matters right? Even if boogers sound gross... :)

Sugar Bean was the first (of many more to come and I'm sure many more will come after these) nickname we gave Kadynce. I know I'm partial because she's mine but she really is the sweetest little girl. She has her very sour moments as all kids but when she loves, she loves to the fullest. (Which I think is why her sour moments can be pretty sour!!) So what's sweeter than sugar?? And bean was just the next word that flowed out of my mouth, so Sugar Bean it was.

It was sorta the same way for Paxton except he's a boy so of course boogers will be involved. Sorry boys...we love though! And Sugar Booger it was. This reminds me, a week ago we were at the grocery store and I was talking all sweet to Pax and called him Sugar Booger as a man was walking by and he laughed...I'm pretty sure at me, but that's okay, Paxton likes it...for now.

My parents tell me that my earliest nickname was...Turkeybutt?! Really? It's kinda funny now. I got to thinking about all the nicknames and such we call each other. I don't know if every family does but mine and Brad's are BIG on the nicknames...I've been called Turkeybutt, Kendelvis (let's not go there), Punkin, Kyndipoo (where my email address came from) and I'm sure there's more. Brad had tons of names growing up, probably more than I know of but some were Hammer, Jaws and his favorite (he will so get me for this!) Brad-ie-cakes.

Our kids get new names on a daily basis. But all of these "names" reminded me of that Israel song, "He knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls, and He hears me when I call." And then I thought about all the time we spent carefully choosing the right names for our children (we did have about 5 yrs!) and not just names but the right meanings so that every time their name is called the RIGHT thing was being spoken over them. We weren't trying to be super-spiritual but names as you've already read are so important to us.

Kadynce (pronounced Cadence) is a musical term meaning rhythm, which she certainly brings to our life! Her middle name is Grace and is a reminder to us that HIS grace is enough but I've also heard it mean unmerited favor. Paxton (saw it on FB and looked it up) in our baby book meant prepared and when I looked it up online it means peace. I constantly pray that both of my children would have peace, the perfect kind that only comes from HIM. His middle name is Bradley (taken from his dad's middle name Brad) and means broad.

I love our kids and take pride that in my opinion they have some awesome names! and nicknames too ;) and I love that every time their names are called so are the meanings behind them...one of my favorite verses say it like this...

"I have called you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1-2

Ketchup

Kadynce loves the stuff...but it reminds me that I need to "catch up" on this blog, lol. Lots of happenings in honeybean baby land but haven't had the time to get it on here. Goal for this week, in addition to getting in bed at a decent time, is to put "ketchup" on the blog ;)

Keep me accountable!

Long lost post...

***Publishing this post a year LATE but keeping it for memory sake, no fundraisers this year ;) ***

We are so excited to announce that Brad and I have the opportunity to adopt an eighteen month old baby girl!

Needless to say, we are very excited. She stole our hearts from our very first meeting. We have decided to name her Kadynce Grace. She is such a beautiful, bright and happy baby. She amazes us with how much she learns and changes daily. We are so blessed that we are able to visit with her in our home on the weekends. She has already become a huge part of both our families and our church family. We have only known her for a short time, but could not imagine our lives without her being a part of it.

God is so AWESOME and has totally orchestrated this opportunity, we will be glad to share those details (later in this blog) but right now this post is because we need help. As you know adoption is lengthy and costly process.

To help cover the legal fees and expenses, we will be hosting a Bar-B-Que Chicken Fundraiser on May 14th in Raleigh, NC. Many of you have already asked how you can help so we wanted to give everyone an opportunity to contribute in helping us make our newest adoption opportunity a success.

Of course a fundraiser such as this requires many hands and supplies to host this event. We realize that many of you live out of town but most of all we need your prayers as we continue on this adoption journey!

We love you all and thank you from the bottom of our hearts in advance for your generous giving!

If you want to help us with our fundraiser, feel free to contact us at:

the story of the sugarbean

"The first time ever I saw your face"

This is the story of sweetest little girl you will ever know (to us anyway!). January 16, 2010. That was the day our hearts were healed. We had a meeting set with the guardians of a beautiful 16 month old baby girl. We were so nervous, trying not to get our hopes up because we didn't not want to be hurt, again. We got to the house, my parents went too. We sat and talked and answered questions and asked questions. The family loved this baby very much and they warned us that she doesn't really open up to new people and now that she's walking she doesn't want to be held. They brought Chyndelle (pronounced Kendall, yeah I know! crazy, huh??) downstairs to meet us. Our hearts literally felt they were going to come out of our chests we were so nervous. Her toe nails had just been painted hot pink and once she spotted my hot pink with rhinestones cell phone she got in my lap. We played and talked and tried to relax. Then it happened...she wrapped her little arms around me and held on tight and I will never forget that hug! Even though I was trying hard to keep my defense up all the walls came tumbling down and my heart M-E-L-T-E-D! (Mom just happened to capture this moment with her cell phone, I would post it now but I can't find it on this computer, ugh!) We have tons of pictures of this night and my heart still gets all warm and fuzzy, like right now as I'm typing this!

Since we already had copies of our previous homestudy and background checks it was agreed that we would start visiting right away. The next afternoon after church we took "Sugarbean" to my parents house to play, this was the first of many visits. We had lots of planning, fund raising, researching, updating of paperwork and homestudies, more paperwork, etc. Mother's Day weekend we met back at the guardians (who by the way are now extended family, we still talk, email, visit and will continue to do so, just fyi) home, they graciously hosted a party for us and that night we went home as a family of three! Just in time for my first Mother's Day.

Sugarbean is now Kadynce Grace...Kadynce (pronounced Cadence) means "brings rhythm to life" and Grace means "highly favored" and because HIS grace truly is enough.

It's so amazing how God had this already orchestrated and set in place, we were just waiting on His timing. Although waiting sounds easy, it was not...that's another post, later on. For now, isn't she gorgeous?

We love you SUGARBEAN!

hello from GA

We have officially been here in Georgia for 2 weeks so I thought it was a good time to let you know how we are...

Our moving trip was completely drama-less! You know this is HUGE if you know anything about our past trips :) Both sets of our parents and my little sister helped with the move (couldn't have done it without them!), we were totally unpacked by Monday evening! Our apartment is definitely a change but it's cozy, has lots of storage, the kids room is very big and the patio is nice especially for Miss Kadynce. However, we are still getting used to the noises around us (such as the basketball that was being bounced above us at 6am!!)

Brad is doing an excellent job! He has so much more to do but is making progress daily. Please help us continue to pray for favor on this store, with his employees, new hires and the company as a whole. Kadynce is adjusting very well. One of her first requests every morning is to go bye-bye :) She loves playing on the patio and looking at the birds (and squirrels) in the bird feeder. Paxton is growing by leaps & bounds! He is 12 weeks! He smiles & "talks" all the time. As for me, I'm growing as well, getting out of the house with 2 babies is still an adjustment but we are getting there! I'm working on my bravery and planning activities outside the house :) We had a picnic at a park and got our library cards today.

We haven't found a church home yet but we are looking, help us pray that God would show us where HE wants us planted. (Missing our LWFC tons!!) HUGE thanks to each of you for your support, prayers, help with packing, etc! We definitely miss you but please know that you are MORE than welcome to visit anytime, there is NO lack of things to do around here :)

LOTS OF LOVE,

Brad, Kendall, Kadynce & Paxton

Waiting...

It’s amazing to me (although it shouldn't be) how at just the right moments God can use people or things to speak right to your need. Two days after we received "the call" that has changed our lives forever, we were watching Joyce Meyer & Creflo Dollar - two different ministers, two different sermons yet they both contained the truth that we needed for exactly what we were facing. We never get to watch them at home - we sat there and cried and cried knowing that God was already healing our hearts. Our tears were partly because our of pain but also because we were in awe. Well today is exactly 2 weeks since then and I received our mailout by Stepping Stones (we only receive it every few months and it is "Christian Support for Couples facing Infertility or Pregnancy Loss) and it again speaks to exactly right where we are. I’m so thankful that He is always right on time, that He’s not forgotten us, but rather He’s holding us. HUGE thanks to you all that have been lifting us up through prayer and encouraging emails...you are truly more of a blessing to us than you will ever know!

Here’s a poem from Stepping Stones, but it seems to sum up how Brad and I have felt over the past 2 years and especially the past 2 weeks:

Praise You in the Wait by Darlene Suter

I didn’t want to get out of bed- didn’t want to face the day.
This pain of infertility- it takes my breath away.

It seems everyone around me is sharing their good news,
But every month the disappointment reminds me what I lose.

I’m not complaining, God, for I know You hear my plea.
I know You have my best in mind, even when I fail to see.

I’m just being honest with you, God, and I know that You don’t mind.
I want You to search my heart, even when I’m afraid of what You’ll find.

I want my motives to be pure when asking You for such a treasure.
I don’t want a baby for selfish reasons so I can receive the pleasure.

So I’ll wait on You with faith and when my fear persists,
I’ll ask You for the strength to stand no matter what Your answer is.

I’ll praise you because of who You are and my heart will rest assured,
Because of the depth of Your perfect love I know I can endure.

And these scriptures encouraged us today:

"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands...Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD."
Psalm 31:14-15a, 24 NIV

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
Psalm 27:14 NIV

"Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you, he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for HIM!"
Isaiah 30:18 NIV

If you know of a couple facing similar circumstances please feel free to share this blog with them. They need your support.